The Talking Traveller

Do you think jokes about stammering are funny? People who stammer (PWS) like myself go through a huge amount of emotional and physical turmoil in most speaking situations. To be ridiculed, teased, mocked and made fun about that does not help in any way and can cause emotional damage. People who stammer should not be stereotyped as being nervous, stupid or low in confidence. I respect my listener and I expect to be respected as well. There are several videos on Youtube about stammering that has been classified under “Comedy”. I have signed a petition asking that these videos be reclassified.

Anybody that would like to support me and other PWS on this viewpoint can sign the petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/nojoke/petition.html.

I would never wish a day of blocking on anybody………it’s not funny.

You know, it's all those little everyday speaking situations that makes the difference. For example. I was in Galway and just couldn't decide where I wanted to go next. So I asked the person at the hostel reception what they would recommend. After that talk I decided to go to Giants Causeway and I would stay at BallyCastle. I went to the bus station and asked for the price of a ticket. They then said that the bus service doesn't go directly there but I can take a bus to Derry and then catch a Northern Ireland bus to Ballycastle. Fine, I said. And I bought a ticket to Derry. I then looked in my guide book for the number of a hostel in Ballycastle. I needed some change to phone, so I popped into the closest store and asked for four fifity cents and gave the person a 2euro coin. I then used then phone, and reserved my bed in a dormintry. I spelled out my name and surname, and asked the usaul questions like....How much for a bed? Do you serve breakfeast? How big is the dorm? etc. I then realised that I had 2 hours before my bus would depart, but I had to check out of the hostel in 20mins . I then asked the new person at reception, after explaining my situation, if I could wait in the TV room for 2 hours. No problem, he said. In the 2 hours I did some reading and also chatted to some people drifting in and out of the TV room. When my time was up and strolled down to the bus station, and after asking a uniform, found the platform from which my bus was to depart. Got on the bus, after greeting the driver and telling him my destination. % hours on the bus later I'm in Derry. Whent to the ticket office and asked for a tciket to Ballycastle. Oops, no more busses going there for today. No problem, I took a deep breath, got out my guide book and phoned a hostel in Derry. Did the whole enquiry thing and booked my place after making sure about the directions. Off I went into another new city and after asking about 3 more public person for directions finally got into the hostel. Introduced myself, had a quick helo chat and into my room. The next day I got up early, asked aroud for directions to the information centre and got there. There I asked for information regarding visting the Giants Causeway, a big tourist attraction. Got the info and directions to the train station. At the station I first bought a single to Giants Causeway for £6. Then I saw a offer for a all-day train ticket for £7. When back to the ticket office, asked nicely and changed my ticket.

I can go on and on, and you would probably think that this is a bit boring, so what's the big deal? I wrote this to illustrate the hugh amount of verbal contacts a person has to make to come by. As a out-of-control stammerer every single one of these would have probably been a bad experience. Blocking, frustration, humiliation, not getting what you want, self-critisism, etc. Things that you as a non-stutterer may take for granted is a everyday battle for a out-of-control stutterer.In the past I would have avoided many many of these situations, changing words, phrases, desitinations to easier ones, maybe even booking under a different name, pointing to maps or brochures or booking on the internet to avoid speaking. But, for a recovering, soon-to-be-eloquent stutterer like myself and others worldwide that has the tools and support to move forward every situation is a challenge, and every victory is sweet. True, not evey word comes out smoothly, but every word does come out, and yes,it takes hard work and lots of practice, years of practice. The number that I chasing is the ultimate goal yes, but it's all these little things that makes the journeys so much more and so worthwhile.

Going a bit back in time to 17 June.......After a day of trotting in the concrete jungle of Sydney I had very sore knees from all the leg movement. Arriving in Katoomba the following day by train I felt like I just wanted to sit and rest all day. At the hostel I tried doing this for about 1 hour. Giving the oppertunity for my mind to wonder, it convinced me that I should get off my behind and explore this area as I paid alot and I have only 2 days here. I should grab the day! The feeling of losing overwhelmed the physical pain and I got up to go go go. I purchased a hop-on hop-off ticket for a big red explorer bus and hopped-on the first oppertunity that I could. I opened the brochure and decided to hop-off at the most exaggerated point on the colorfull tourist brochure, which is called Scenic World!. There I had the choice of doing either a cable car ride or a railtrain ride. Being the dare-devil that I see in the mirror every night I decided that the 52 degree decline railway ride is the onbly way to go. Of course I hit the luck of getting the front seat. Slowly we started trancending down, and we kept going slowly until we reached the destination 1min 23seconds later. O well, yeha anyway. I was left stading with several choices of hiking trails and first did a circular trail layed out with a wooden walkway elevated above the forest floor. Along the way several icons of mining history were on display with interactive audio and video. I followed the easlily walkable walkway throught the rainforest and completed the circular trail. Discovering further detail on the pathetic tourist map I took-off on a route that would take me to the underside of a cliff.I kept on that trail being constantly mildly reminded of my sore knees, especially when realising the body is acsending or decending to or from a elavation. Along the way I met a middle aged woman while she was taking a rest. And I controlly asked "Taking a break?" (smile, release residual air). I ended up doing a full disclosure about my journey through the world and the effects of stuttering on my world, and that she is helping me to lift the invisible veil just by being nice and talking to me. We parted with smiles enjoying Kathy's comment that I had made her day by giving her the number of 1136.

Along I went further on my hike.I ended up the day at the top of the most attractive attraction of the "Blue Mountains" which is the "Three Sisters".An outcrop of rocks that forms three distinct points on the landscape. To end up there however I had to climp up several meters of stairs, when I reached the top of those stairs I read a sign stating that I had just done the hardest hike off all, in the hardest direction, from down to up. I could not decide if I should accept myself being completely mad or a well done tap on the shoulder. I was laughing to myself hard, very hard and I felt better. But I realised half-way up that even though my knees are complaining, I have to ascend this staircase. There is no turning back, this is the only way and I can just as well enjoy it. I made it interresting by having breaks and taking photos trying to absorb as much of my surroundings and perceptions, both internal and external. I ended up way after dark back at the hostel, cold, tired and hungry. I didn't know if my knees were beyond pain or just numb from the cold, but it didn't hurt. Anyway they had supported me and I made it back. I woke up the following morning not knowing if I would be able to stand upright properly..............and I did, I stood up tall.  My knees felt as strong as ever. I had a very nice hike for the rest of that day as well, well beyond my expectations.

Did I learn some deep needed life lesson of pushing through the pain, making the best of a scenario and never giving up?? Did I learn that sometimes it is better to not know where you are heading, but put in your best effort anyway? I dunno, but I definately had a delightfull chuckle of laughter getting up that morning, and that was good enough for me. Welcome to my mind! See the photos.

Everybody!

Please feel free to leave me message if you like my blog (or if you don't) by clicking on any "comment" link.

I would like to hear from everybody! Also .... My Skype ID is : hein_vdm

This article of mine was published as the winning letter for February in the SA Mens Health Magazine. The prize was a 20Gig Mp3 player. This Mp3 player can also record voice using a built in microphone, and it helps me alot to capture my thoughts, and my speech for self monitoring. Thanks MH.

Regards
Hein van der Merwe.
Recovering stammerer.

Hansie slim, berg wil klim, in die wye wêreld in !

Here is my itinerary so far.....

11 May - Bloemfontein SA -> 17May - Palmerston North NZ ->  24 May Melbourne Aus

22 June Brisbane Aus -> 26 June London UK -> 28 June Dundee UK-South

Things are a bit rough right now, still have to sell my car! Watch this space for my next toastmaster speech!

"Speak the speech I pray thee as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue: but if you mouth it as many of our players do, I had as lief the town-crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently; for in the very torrent, tempest and as I may say the whirlwind of your passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness ..."       Hamlet, Act 3, Scene II William Shakespeare circa 16th Century

It is all about reprogramming our subconscious. And it's not about perfection, but about progress.

Meanings of certain words in the extract that I did not know ......  

Mouth - to speak.                                                                                                                   

Lief - do it happily, gladly.                                                                                                   

Torrent - Strong and fast moving liquid                                                                            

Tempest - a violent windy storm, great anger or excitement.                                                

Passion - strong and barely controllable emotion.                                                                   

Beget - give rise to, bring about.                                                                                    

Temperance - moderation or self- restrained.                                                                           

Circa - Approximately

50 days will be counted before my  departure .........                

Anyone in SA interested in buying my car !? Admire it in my Albums, contact me, we can negotiate...