All those little things......
You know, it's all those little everyday speaking situations that makes the difference. For example. I was in Galway and just couldn't decide where I wanted to go next. So I asked the person at the hostel reception what they would recommend. After that talk I decided to go to Giants Causeway and I would stay at BallyCastle. I went to the bus station and asked for the price of a ticket. They then said that the bus service doesn't go directly there but I can take a bus to Derry and then catch a Northern Ireland bus to Ballycastle. Fine, I said. And I bought a ticket to Derry. I then looked in my guide book for the number of a hostel in Ballycastle. I needed some change to phone, so I popped into the closest store and asked for four fifity cents and gave the person a 2euro coin. I then used then phone, and reserved my bed in a dormintry. I spelled out my name and surname, and asked the usaul questions like....How much for a bed? Do you serve breakfeast? How big is the dorm? etc. I then realised that I had 2 hours before my bus would depart, but I had to check out of the hostel in 20mins . I then asked the new person at reception, after explaining my situation, if I could wait in the TV room for 2 hours. No problem, he said. In the 2 hours I did some reading and also chatted to some people drifting in and out of the TV room. When my time was up and strolled down to the bus station, and after asking a uniform, found the platform from which my bus was to depart. Got on the bus, after greeting the driver and telling him my destination. % hours on the bus later I'm in Derry. Whent to the ticket office and asked for a tciket to Ballycastle. Oops, no more busses going there for today. No problem, I took a deep breath, got out my guide book and phoned a hostel in Derry. Did the whole enquiry thing and booked my place after making sure about the directions. Off I went into another new city and after asking about 3 more public person for directions finally got into the hostel. Introduced myself, had a quick helo chat and into my room. The next day I got up early, asked aroud for directions to the information centre and got there. There I asked for information regarding visting the Giants Causeway, a big tourist attraction. Got the info and directions to the train station. At the station I first bought a single to Giants Causeway for £6. Then I saw a offer for a all-day train ticket for £7. When back to the ticket office, asked nicely and changed my ticket.
I can go on and on, and you would probably think that this is a bit boring, so what's the big deal? I wrote this to illustrate the hugh amount of verbal contacts a person has to make to come by. As a out-of-control stammerer every single one of these would have probably been a bad experience. Blocking, frustration, humiliation, not getting what you want, self-critisism, etc. Things that you as a non-stutterer may take for granted is a everyday battle for a out-of-control stutterer.In the past I would have avoided many many of these situations, changing words, phrases, desitinations to easier ones, maybe even booking under a different name, pointing to maps or brochures or booking on the internet to avoid speaking. But, for a recovering, soon-to-be-eloquent stutterer like myself and others worldwide that has the tools and support to move forward every situation is a challenge, and every victory is sweet. True, not evey word comes out smoothly, but every word does come out, and yes,it takes hard work and lots of practice, years of practice. The number that I chasing is the ultimate goal yes, but it's all these little things that makes the journeys so much more and so worthwhile.
